


Move on

by orphan_account



Category: bangtansonyeondan - Fandom, bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:09:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8211331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yoonseok fanfic.Yoongi's in love with Hoseok and he needs to let go basically.I swear it s at least 0.01% better than this description!Give it a try,maybe?





	1. It's July,I feel like October.

-Hello?Hoseok answered the phone sheepishly as he glanced as Yoongi in an apologetic way.

Yoongi took a sip of his water while walking side by side with Hoseok who was speaking on the phone.

-Now?I'm with my friend...

Yoongi looked around town,the heath was horrible ,there weren't any people on the streets especially in this part of Seoul,and you could see the waves of heath in the distance.The sun was so bright and it only added to his frustration.He kept looking around while Hoseok talked and he could tell what the conversation was.He had to go but Yoongi just got there 10 minutes ago...of course he's going to get dissed again,Yoongi sighed and continued to look around while playing with the strap of his bag in an attempt to play it cool.

-Oh...hey,I'm sorry...my girlfriend just got here and she didn't tell me she was coming.You should come too,I don't really feel like seeing her anyway...Hoseok turned to Yoongi as he slid his phone in his pocket and looked at Yoongi expectantly.

-Nah,it's fine,the other spoke as he looked at his hands that were unconsciously still messing with the bag,I'll just go home it's fine.

-But you just got here!And we haven't seen each other in ages!Come on,just tag along!Hoseok pleaded as he still walked towards their initial destination alongside Yoongi.

-No,it's stupid.I'll just go.Yoongi said as he turn around,starting to walk back.

-Why is it stupid?Hoseok questioned while following.

-Because it is ...

-And your argument is?

-It's just stupid,Hoseok.

-And your point is?Hoseok asked with a goofy smile planted on his face and this only made Yoongi's pout turn into a smile.

Yoongi looked away and responded with an"it's stupid..." as he tried his best to hide his smile.He wanted Hoseok to know that he was mad,he did,but...it seemed like a better idea to just go along and laugh it off.

-At least walk with me to the park and then you can go?Pretty please?

Yoongi scoffed and started straightening his shirt "fine..."he said as he glanced at Hoseok who was wearing his usual smile on.There was such a contrast between them,despite both having the same hair color and wearing similar clothes they were so different.Yoongi couldn't help but ask how come Hoseok was so out of he ordinary ,how did he have this special feel to him?Why was he so much better than him in every way?Why was his smile so bright?Why couldn't you say "no" to him?And why couldn't Yoongi hate him?Because in all honesty, he wanted to and he always felt so wronged and he just wanted to scream at him and just-he just wanted him to understand...He wanted him to understand so he would stop being...well...a normal friend.It was all a mess but he just wanted him to stop telling him "I love you" and to stop being so worried because those things only made the situation worse..

-Oh,hey!Hoseok smiled and waved to his girlfriend as they were both walking towards the bench she was sitting on.Hey,where are you going?Hoseok asked Yoongi who was walking away.

-Oh,I'll just go.I'll grab an ice cream and yeah...Yoongi smiled as he waved and walked away.

He walked through the crowded park,the trees where providing a lot of shade and it was so comfortable compared to the burning sensation the sun gave ,but he just wanted to get out of that park as soon as possible.He walked quickly and after grabbing an ice cream he decided to just sit down somewhere and kill some time...he really didn't want to go home."why did I even buy ice cream?I don't even like it..."he asked himself as he threw the cone in the trash and realized it was just today that he hated ice cream,he liked ice cream ,he just hated today.He sat down on the concrete surrounding a few plants in the little park in front of a church.The sky was changing its colors slowly and along it the horrible heath turned to a nice cool breeze which made the leaves ruffle and make those sounds that almost seemed like the sea.He closed his eyes and he felt at peace.

An hour passed and he decided to go home ,the sky was an indigo shade with puddles of pink and orange but in the end it all blended into a nice picture.It seemed like the beginning of autumn even though it was only July and it was nice,he even saw a blue butterfly.

He looked out his window while digging into some cup ramen ,it was going to rain.Lightning strikes were covering the skies like cobwebs and he curled up ,pressing his head against the soft peach colored curtains as big rain drops started flopping soundly to the concrete ground and onto the dirty glass of the window.

He wrote a question a long time ago,and today was the day he got his answer."Like when the rain soils your shoes and you find dirt on them after a long time ,or when it starts raining and it ruins your plans cursing the rain for that all the time: Am I someone who engraved my existence to you like the rain? If not, am I just someone who came and went like a rain shower?Just like today?I probably am just a rain shower..."


	2. Can you shout it out loud?

He stepped out of his house and took a look around.The streets were full of people with smudged faces, quick steps and surprisingly colorful clothes and the weather was cloudy and cold, a harsh wind blowing through the discolored leaves bringing along the scent of a storm.

After struggling to make way through the tons of people outside he finally stepped into the market,the whole place was empty, in contrast to the cluster outside the building,there were no workers just a few customers scattered around but no one seemed to find it unusual,Yoongi didn't either.

He grabbed what he needed and just like the rest of the customers left the place without paying and being questioned about it.He made his way back through the growing crowd , dark clouds were rolling fast on the sky,a bit too fast ,but nobody noticed,Yoongi didn't either.

Once in front of his place he took a glance back to the people,there were too many of them ,and he had a weird feeling but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

-Yoongi!

Yoongi turned his head quickly to see Hoseok standing there with his usual smile engraved on his face.

-Oh,hi!You wanna come in?Yoongi asked as he slowly walked towards the door.

-Yeah ,I sure do,the heath is horrible in the desert.Hoseok said as he walked the opposite way.

-Well then why are you going that way?Hoseok?Yoongi asked and turned back,following his friend who was walking towards a dark forest.The other didn't answer and just kept walking towards the forest.

-Hoseo-!Yoongi tried to yell but his voice wasn't working,he couldn't shout.He struggled to do so once again only to fail so he decided to just run towards the other but that didn't work either.He couldn't run,his legs felt uncomfortable as he tried to hurry his pace and cold sweat drops were forming on his forehead and the nape of his neck sending shivers down his spine.

Hoseok kept walking at a good distance in front of Yoongi ,turning to glance at him from time to time with a mocking smile on.

The forest was dark and it seemed to get smaller,the path they first walked on was gone and he couldn't see the part they came from anymore.The trees were all crooked and everywhere around were thorns and poison ivy plants.

They reached a swamp and Hoseok got close to it,took off his shoes and laid them on a rock ,placed a piece of paper inside them then slowly walked into the swamp.The dirty water started rising and it became a thick,dark red liquid that crawled up Hoseok's legs ,slowly dragging him into the depth.

-Wait!Yoongi tried to scream but all he got was a muffled whisper,he walked into the water as well and he suddenly found himself hanging upside down next to Hoseok ,inside a dark cave filled with an orange light lit by who knows what.

-Are you ok?Hoseok?Yoongi made an effort and lifted his arms which felt so heavy and turned Hoseok's face towards his.His skin was a pale bluish gray and his eyes and lips were swollen,his hair was wet and all sorts of water weeds were attached to his flesh as if he's been submerged for a long time.Yoongi's hands turned cold and his whole body was shaking,hot tears started streaming down his face as he shut his eyes closed and started counting.After what seemed like an eternity of counting he heard seagulls... so he opened his eyes.


	3. Can you keep it all silenced?

He opened his eyes and saw the sea,the sky was a silver blue and dark clouds were gathering for a storm while the seagulls swirling above were making their usual ruckus.It was cold and the sand was damp and hard.He suddenly felt a sting in his left arm,he looked to his left and found Hoseok's curled up frame clinging to his arm.The other boy turned his head to face him and slowly got closer to his face,Yoongi closed his eyes waiting for a kiss that never came and he opened his eyes once again only to find himself hanging upside down again and the whole sea was flowing away at the edge of the world like a great waterfall, as if the Earth was flat.Hoseok was holding onto his arm and he grasped his arm as well,he didn't know what he was hanging from but he wasn't the one falling.He sunk his nails deeper into the other's limb,his hands were suddenly covered in thorns digging into the other's flesh,red streams of blood were flowing as flesh got torn in two.He felt pain in his arms too and saw that Hoseok's arms had thorns as well and his flesh was also mangled."Let go" these words were echoing through his brain as he was still hanging upside down,streams of blood melting into the waterfall while the whole world seemed to be a sheet of paper you lift to 90 degrees.

Pieces of sand and rocks were falling from time to time and finally he felt a piece slip from under his feet,he felt his feet peeling off the flat surface and suddenly they were floating,as if stuck in time.He looked at Hoseok with a smile on his face,happy that they didn't fall to their deaths,only to see Hoseok staring back with wide opened neon eyes.His skin turned scaly and red,his veins were showing from under his skin and he slowly turned into something that just wasn't Hoseok;his bones were showing through his skin and his features were deformed.

-Oh,God!Hoseok!What-

-What?!Isn't this how you see me?Isn't this how I really am?!That's how you see me!As a monster!Right?!

-No,Hoseok!

-Yeah!That's how you see me,when in reality...you're the freak!You're fucked up!You're the one that's a fuck up!

-Why are you talking like that?Yoongi whined as tears were flooding his face.

-You know I'm right,stop whining!You think I'm fucked up because I don't love you,you say I lead you on...well,let me tell you something!You're the freak!You're imagining things!You're the one ruining us!You're the bad guy!the thing that used to be Hoseok screamed as it took a form resembling a dragon.

-You're right!I'm the fuck up!What do you want from me?Yoongi asked through tears while his voice turned into a muffled whisper.I can't do anything about how I feel!he shouted and curled up in a ball ,covering his ears.

The dragon took in a huge breath and his chest lit up,he opened his jaw and released a million stars into the abyss they were currently residing.Yoongi lifted his face and looked at the stars,the intensity of their light seemed to grow brighter and brighter and he closed his eyes once again as a deafening silence made its way in,buzzing through his head.


	4. Eat me,drink me

The silence turned into loudness and he opened his eyes to a house that seemed so familiar yet so unknown.Yoongi looked around and realized that he was about 30 cms tall while everything else seemed to just get bigger.

He saw Hoseok and his girlfriend speaking over a cup of coffee in the dim light of an early summer morning.

He made his way to Hoseok's foot and started pulling at the fabric of his jeans in an attempt to get some attention but no response,he was that insignificant.

The woman left the room and suddenly Hoseok looked at him with his usual smile and Yoongi felt the room getting smaller,the ceiling getting closer and him becoming bigger...significant.He grew and grew until he found himself at his usual height,if that was what usual was,he didn't know anymore.He was standing next to the table in front of Hoseok,who was sitting in his chair wearing a smile but still seemed bigger and somewhat intimidating.

-Sit down,have some tea.Hoseok spoke as he signaled towards the table which was empty,no cups of anything on it.

Yoongi sat down and Hoseok started speaking about all sorts of things that made no sense but seemed to make sense in the heat of the moment.He sat across him and listened until that girl came back and he suddenly felt himself get smaller again.

The giant woman sat down and her smile faded as she turned to Yoongi ,her eyes were two flaming charcoals and her skin looked like a boiling liquid.She slowly reached out and grabbed Yoongi in her hand,it burned his skin as he squirmed in her tight grip ,trying to escape her in vain and yet again he couldn't scream .

The giant put him in her mouth as if he were a piece of bread and he found himself being pushed through her body.It was hot and suffocating and he felt so overwhelmed as he tried to grab to the tissue of her insides.He felt slimy and damp and he finally managed to scream as he opened his eyes and realized it was all a dream.

He was still sitting there,in the park,it was night time and the stars shined so bright and so cold.The area was empty and the song of rustling leaves and his heavy breath was all that he could hear.

He rubbed his face trying to make the sleepiness go away ,he looked around and sighed in defeat.Finally he managed to make himself get up and walk home,on his way he passed a big empty spot filled with tall grass and thistles.They stood tall and proud in that sea of green even though they're just...weeds.Useless weeds...

He thought about that series of stupid dreams while he walked slowly towards his home.Maybe they shined a light on his situation...no ,they didn't shine shit,they just laid it all down,they just told him to his face how things are...or,at least,how he thinks things are.

 


	5. What's wrong?What's right?

Hot sunrays were creeping through the curtains,the clock was one minute from ringing and Yoongi was lying on the couch trying to make the sleepiness go away.One leg dangling on the edge of the sofa,head buried between three fluffy pillows,the alarm finally rang 6:30.

He got up sluggishly and made his way towards the bathroom,he turned on the tap as he was gathering the courage to actually splatter the freezing water on his face.Even if it was summer,the cold water on his face in the first hours of the morning didn't seem too appealing.

Finally,he splashed the water on his face and quickly shoved his face in a towel.

He lifted his head and when he looked forward he was shocked to find himself staring at his bathroom through what seem to be the mirror in front of the sink.He watched in awe as he heard the same 6:30 alarm go off once again and he saw himself dragging himself to the sink repeating the process from earlier ,only this time the him from the other side didn't teleport into the mirror,he just sat in front of the sink staring Yoongi in the eye.

He looked at the man staring back at him and it didn't even feel like that was him.Why did that man looks so miserable and dull?He looked so pathetic, weak, and faded...Why?For such a foolish reason:for a love that wasn't even there to begin with,and will never be,for the attention he never got and never will,for the him he never was and will never be.

He lowered his gaze from the Yoongi in the real world,ashamed of himself,ashamed of what he looks like to others,ashamed of his stupid thoughts and wishes.The other Yoongi turned his back ,and in that moment his vision went black and he felt the place spin around as he fell on the cold floor.

He slowly opened his eyes to the dim light of his home and found himself lying on the cold bathroom tiles.

He quickly ran to his phone,it was 7:30."Shit!I'm fucked!" he mumbled to himself as he struggled to take off both his pants and t-shirt at the same time,stumbling around and tripping on his own legs,falling on the couch with an annoyed whispered shout.

He was angry,hungry ,and late,the traffic was horrible and the bus was so hot and damp ,and packed with people.And to top it all ...he had his shirt backwards and a nasty bruise on his shoulder, that hurt every time one of the many people inside the bus would bump into him.

He rushed into the building tripping on his shoe laces that were now,of course,untied,almost spilling the coffee he had bought,because...that was part of his job since he was new.

He gave the coffee to his coworkers as he explained to each and every of them why he was late,of course though,nobody believed him when he said that he hallucinated and fainted only to wake up exactly and hour later.

He finally managed to settle and take a break,he was the sound and lights guy and when there was nothing for him to do he was kind of a secretary.But of course he can't even take a break because there comes a flash meeting!Why was he there anyway?They only ever told him to make a "brillante" atmosphere.And why the heck were they so fancy ,using foreign words and stuff?So pointless.

He sat up lazily and headed to the meeting room.They all sat around this big elegant table as the chief started talking about fashion and impact and all the stuff Yoongi had no idea about.

He stared at his hands as he fumbled with a pen he had no use for.

-You're so pathetic!What the heck are you even doing here?the chief shouted as she walked closer along the table,his coworkers were speechless looking down at their notes.Yoongi's head snapped up to look at her with doe eyes.Look at what you're wearing!And your shirt is backwards!Just like you!You're not brillante at all,sound guy.she said as she looked at him from above with a mocking gaze.Yoongi stared back at her not knowing what to do or say.

-I ...he started but got interrupted.

-You're so out of place!Gosh do you even try?Did you already give up?Might as well just die if you're gonna live like this!And you even have the audacity to want him to like you?she chuckled.So shameless!

-Shut up!he yelled as he jumped to his feet with trembling hands.I won't let you say this crap!All of his coworkers turned to look at him in awe ,the chief was staring with wide eyes ,dropping the pen with which she was showing something on a powerpoint.

-What's wrong,Yoongi-shi?she asked in a low voice.

-What?What do you -.Crap...he mumbled as he flopped back on his chair.It was one of those hallucinations again.

-So what was it you wanted to say?the chief asked again.

-Oh...it's...it's not brillante enough?he chuckled nervously ,scratching the back of his neck.Everyone started laughing under their breaths and the chief sighed in defeat.

-You should make yourself a better sleep schedule and stop falling asleep during meetings.But...you're right!Team!Let's make it più brillante!She clapped as she yelled those last words and everyone got up ,heading for the door and started gibbering while walking.

He walked tiredly towards his home,passing the empty field again.The sun was lower in the sky and you could see the moon climbing slowly to take its place, the light was a dim orange,the heat was gone and he really wanted to grab one of those thistles,but he never really had the courage.He looked at them as he walked by; "what the heck is wrong in my head?"he asked himself as he sighed heavily.


	6. Up and down

Another morning,he was passing the field in the dull light of the morning,gazing at the thistles for the nth time.

He walked quickly through the building as he was late again,his clothes were stained green and were ripped,thorns and what not stuck everywhere.He got called to the chief's office as soon as he arrived.

He knocked on the door hesitantly and stepped in with his head hung low.

-Min Yoongi...It's the second time this happens,I get it that you're not really doing anything around here at this hour but you're paid for it.God!You can't just come here when you want and what...is up with your clothes?What happened?she asked while her face tried to express too many things at once as she was beginning to feel confused,resulting in an awkward furious-curious grimace.

Yoongi sighed heavily as he dropped on the chair in front of her desk.

-Truth is...I think there's something wrong with me lately.he said and he quickly glanced at her looking for a sign that he could continue.I've been hallucinating and stuff ,when I yelled at you that day...in my head you were talking shit to-...I mean you were insulting me and then I snapped out of it and realized it wasn't real.he spoke as he pulled at his sleeves.

-Jesus Christ...the chief said as she looked around her desk still in confusion.

-And today,I left for work and then as I was passing this empty field next to my house and was looking at some thistles they started moving and shi-...they started moving and grabbing me and then I woke up and was lying there and my clothes were like this and ...yeah...he left out a shaky sigh as he finished explaining.

-Shouldn't you...see a doctor?she asked in a sympathetic tone.

-I-I promise I'll try to be on time.he said as he bowed and headed towards the door.

He didn't want to see a doctor,he didn't want to be told that he's crazy,he didn't want to believe that,it was temporary...yes,temporary.Just a...phase...

The day passed by without any other incidents and as he was wondering around his apartment he got a text.It was from Hoseok...

_HobiHobi: Hyung,how bout a drink?we haven't seen each other in like 10 thousand yearssss!_

Yoongi stared at the phone screen for a while wanting to ignore it or to just decline the offer but that was impossible.After letting the phone slip on the table and taking a sip of his tea telling himself that he's never talking to Hoseok again he quickly took the phone back and typed an "ok,when?".

He put on his clothes waiting for the 10 minutes he had to wait before leaving to pass as he was looking around the house and at his phone screen hoping that he won't slip away again,because he knew that everything goes wrong when you want it to go well the most.


	7. Good things never last

Surprisingly he didn't,he met up with Hoseok and they sat down ordering something to chew on and some bottles of soju.

After 2 hours of talking about what stupid things they've done since last time they met and a few bottles of soju emptied,the alcohol got to their heads,to Yoongi's more and he finally spilled the beans as to the weird hallucinations and dreams he's been having.Of course,no details on Hoseok being involved with them in any way.

-Shit,it was kinda rad when I was swinging upside down but nah...nah,I hate it.Sometimes I'm not even sure if I'm hallucinating or not!It's pretty fucked up!Yoongi chuckled as he poured the last bit of alcohol into their glasses,more in his.

-You should...see a doctor,hyung.This isn't right.Hoseok said quietly as he stared at Yoongi with a worried expression.

-Naaah!No...they're gonna tell me I'm crazy!I think that it makes it worse when they tell you that,Hobi!I'm not crazy!It'll pass...I meeeean- he said as he almost fell backwards from his chair only for Hoseok to quickly grab him by the sleeve and pull him back.I gotta sooolve it all myself.That's right!he said in a weird whiny voice as he turned to probably ask for another bottle,but he was stopped by Hoseok who pulled him up,struggling to keep him steady.

-Let's go,hyung...you're too drunk.Come on!he pleaded as he tried to get Yoongi to move,it was rather difficult since he was rather drunk as well.

They finally arrived at Yoongi's house and into his bedroom after having troubles in opening the damn door.

They both dropped with a loud thump on the mattress,the room was spinning as the bed was still moving like a ship at sea.They were close,shoulder to shoulder and Yoongi could feel his heart beat loudly in his chest.He didn't want to move,he didn't want to face Hoseok,but Hoseok did it instead.He looked at Yoongi and he had his prettiest smile on and Yoongi found himself giving Hoseok a quick kiss and then bumping his head lowly back on the bed.

Hoseok looked at him in shock for a second before bursting into laughter.

-Hyung,how drunk can you be?he asked between squeals of laughter and he quickly pecked the other's forehead before turning his back ,getting ready to get up on his wobbly feet.

He didn't manage to get up because he felt arms wrap tightly around his torso.

-Yeah...you do need a hug,don't you?Should I just stay here?Hoseok asked as he quickly lied down and Yoongi snuggled closer ,breathing into the back of his neck,hugging him tighter.Yoongi thought he was in heaven,the alcohol swimming through his head made him braver and so he didn't really worry about anything,he just enjoyed having Hoseok next to him,he ignored the guilt or any judgmental thoughts and just enjoyed.

But good things never last and after a few hours he opened his eyes and watched from the door frame as another Yoongi climbed on top of Hoseok and gripped the latter's neck ,suffocating him.He squirmed under the pressure ,trying to escape and Yoongi couldn't move or scream again,he just watched as the last will to move left Hoseok's body.The other Yoongi got up with a murderous glare and walked towards Yoongi,the room started to get flooded and as he looked around better he saw himself being surrounded by a cage,the whole place was under water and the other Yoongi was gone,in his place was a big shark that was getting closer and closer to the cage.The shark swam around the place and suddenly slammed itself on the cage,the metal bars were becoming crooked and Yoongi tried to get as far as possible from them.

He watched as the shark was floating around the room aggressively and he saw it head towards Hoseok's motionless body.He quickly reached out of the cage and grabbed the shark's tail and he opened his eyes back to reality.

He sat up abruptly and was breathing heavily, he quickly turned to Hoseok who was sleeping soundly and sighed in relief.He started shaking and his eyes stung,tears threatening to come out."I'm crazy!I'm crazy!"he thought to himself.


	8. Curse my heart and hope to die

Hoseok woke up to the silence of Yoongi's room,thinking the other was still sleeping.He stealthily got up,trying to be silent and he quickly turned around to steal a glance as he was sneaking out ,only to find Yoongi looking up at him from his phone screen with an avoiding gaze.

-Oh,you're up!Hoseok squealed ,getting startled by his own voice.

-Oh,you too...Yoongi answered looking back and forth from Hoseok to his phone screen.

-Well,I should leave now.Don't mind me!Hoseok said and threw an awkward smile accompanied by a wave.

-Let's...have breakfast?Yoongi said as he stood up at a great distance from Hoseok ,rubbing his damp hands on his pants and straightening his shirt,trying to avoid Hoseok's eyes.

-Should we?Hoseok giggled awkwardly as he headed for the kitchen with unsure steps.

Yoongi followed quietly looking at Hoseok through the corner of his eyes as the other sat down slowly,looking around the room as if he never sat there before.

They ate their rice and side dishes in silence,a heavy silence that was so hard for Yoongi to break through,but finally he did:

-I'm sorry for yesterday,I was drunk and..I mean,being drunk is no excuse I was just an asshole...I'm really sorry,I pushed myself on you.

-It's fine...You didn't.It was my fault too.Hoseok smiled sheepishly as he took another bite of his fried egg.

-Okay,thanks.Yoongi answered.

They continued eating in silence,a slightly lighter one.The sun was shining nicely through the small kitchen window,reflecting on one side of Hoseok's body,making him glow,like a halo.Yoongi was amazed again by how special Hoseok was,how just a bit of nice lighting would make him look so out of this world.He thought again about how different they were,how Hoseok was the sun and Yoongi was just a small rock,heated by its light.Hoseok was interesting and special and Yoongi felt like he was just...dull...

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

-I'm going now!Hoseok said as he was struggling to put on his shoes without untying the laces,only to give up and drop on the floor to start over with patience.

Yoongi appeared in the kitchen door frame and stared at Hoseok for a bit,he came back afterwards and dropped to the floor as well,putting on his shoes.

-What are you doing?Walking me out?Such a gentleman!Hoseok smiled mockingly.

-Don't flatter yourself.I'm going to the store.Yoongi answered with a smirk plastered on his face as he was also struggling with his shoes.Hoseok laughed loudly ,getting up quickly and waiting by the door with a smile on his face.

They walked by the empty field and as he usually did,he walked while looking at the thistles.

-Whatcha lookin at?

-Hm?Oh,I really like those thistles.Yoongi said as he turned towards Hoseok only to be hit in the cheek by Hoseok's finger.Hoseok started to laugh loudly and it was hypnotizing.

-I'm sorry!Hoseok said between laughs.You're face was just funny!You just-he got interrupted by his own laughter and Yoongi sighed,a little smile making its way on his face.

He closed his eyes as he smiled and found himself in an empty endless field,horrible heat was surrounding the golden stretching,and he realized he was standing in the savanna.The clouds were rolling quickly in the sky and a pack of lions was approaching him.The pack of animals turned into leopards,cheetahs,jaguars,tigers the closer they got and the view turned into their assigned living habitats.The predators started running,as they turned one by one into jaguars ,innocent deer came running along and the felines grabbed them in their run,crushing their skulls in one bite. They uncovered their razor sharp fangs with growls and roars as they were hurrying straight towards Yoongi.He couldn't run,he couldn't scream,he couldn't move,so he waited.

The animals reached him and the last of their forms were lions,lions with dark,dark manes and scary eyes;they arched their spines and jumped towards him,leaving clouds of dust behind them as they closed in towards Yoongi.

They jumped through him and vanished into thin air,the clouds were rolling into a spiral and the sky was turning darker and darker until everything was pitch black.

-Hyung!Hey!

Yoongi could feel a weight on his wrist and he opened his eyes to a startled Hoseok shaking his arm quickly.

-I'm sorry...I was...out.Yoongi answered as he looked around and noticed that they were surrounded by weeds and plants.He has walked into the field again.Hoseok was really shaken up and he was covered in leafs and all sorts of things.His clothes were all ruffled and his hair was going in every direction.

-Golly,what did I do to you?Yoongi asked with a flustered chuckle as he reached out,fixing Hoseok's hair.

-Nothing,you just weren't really all that good at keeping your balance and I had a hard time with keeping you steady,and you just haaad to get here.Hoseok spoke with a relieved tone as he looked around the field.

-Oh boy,I'm really going nuts.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

Yoongi looked at the clock,2:37 am,he was sleepy but he was too scared to sleep.Being awake was bad but sleeping was worse,because it guaranteed a nice nightmare or whatever those are.

He poured another glass of ice cold water ,he took it and made his way towards his room,through the dark.He sat down on the bed and he couldn't help but be reminded that Hoseok has slept there.He felt like a silly enamored teenage girl but he couldn't help it.

He felt that those dreams were meaningful somehow,he thought that those animals running around and crushing skulls and roaring were his feelings,and they finally got the best of him and they finally broke free yesterday.But even so...nothing happened,it was as if they never got out.

He gulped down the glass of water and hissed at the pain in his throat as he flopped down on the bed and buried his face in the pillow.He needed to sleep,no matter how scary the nightmares were.

He closed his eyes and he found himself lying on his bed ,surrounded by blinding lights,he couldn't move and couldn't scream but he could see his body.

A silhouette walked slowly around his bed ,the man was wearing doctor's clothes and a mask made of someone else's face.

Yoongi shifted his gaze towards the nightstand and he could see a board filled with all sorts of instruments,one caught his eye;a syringe with little to no yellowish liquid left inside.

He looked around a bit more and saw Hoseok leaning on the door frame,arms crossed ,looking at Yoongi with a sympathetic look.

-You'll get well,Yoongi-sshi.the doctor said.It's all in your heart.he grabbed a scalpel as he spoke and turned to Yoongi's motionless body.

He could see the scalpel cut through his flesh and he could see the other blades cut through his ribcage and slowly reach his heart.

-Almost over!You'll be doing great!the doctor exclaimed and the disgusting mask's mouth turned into a horribly forced smile.

He glanced as Hoseok who was nodding at him in approval.His heart was beating like a drum inside his chest,well...mostly inside,and he could feel the fear rise up. He couldn't move,he couldn't scream,he couldn't run.

The medic pulled his heart out of his chest slowly,pushing his long,ugly nails against it,blood streaming down his arm and onto Yoongi's open chest.

His vision got darker and darker until it all turned pitch black and he suddenly opened his eyes to the dim blue lights of his room.He felt a sting in his chest and hand, so he looked down and saw blood.He realized he must've broken the glass in his sleep and slashed his chest with it,hurting his hand in the process.

He was scared ,he was taking deep ,shaky breaths so he just reached for his phone.His voice was strangled and almost like a whisper

-Seokseokie,I stabbed myself in my sleep...


	9. What are you to me?

He sat in the dim light of the moonlight as if lost in time,he couldn't understand this,he couldn't perceive why all of this was happening.The wound stung him and the smell of iron coming from the blood was horrible,yet he didn't move.He kept pressing the lock button on his phone;lock,unlock,lock,unlock-  
He heard a knock on the door and got up with trembling feet and slowly paced towards the door;it opened with a loud clink,a sounds that seemed too loud in the silence of that late night hour.  
-Jesus ,are you alright?Hoseok questioned as he quickly walked inside  and started struggling with his shoes laces ,which seemed to have become the most difficult puzzle ever right then.  
\- I'm fine...I just panicked.Hah I'm such a dumbass,why did I even call?It's nothing serious.Yoongi answered as he went and sat on the couch staring at the floor.  
-It's fine,it's better that you called.Hoseok said ,he was finally done with those damn shoelaces and was now standing in front of Yoongi with a compassionate smile on his face,he kept messing with his bracelet,he felt awkward.How does one even deal with this kind of situation?  
-It's 4 am...great job,me.Yoongi groaned as he leaned his head on the soft cushions of the sofa,staring at the ceiling for a change.  
-Do you have a medical kit or something?  
-Yeah,right.I forgot.I'll bring it.Yoongi stood up and the movement made his shirt move,the shirt was stuck to the wound, and as it ripped off the injury it hurt like hell.He yelped and threw a few curse words on his way to the bathroom.  
He walked in with the medical kit in his arms ,Hoseok was sitting on the couch with a tired figure,he placed the box on the couch and sat down.Hoseok reached for whatever was needed to treat the wound,he got up and crouched in front of Yoongi.  
-I can do it myself,my hands are fine...well,one of them is.he chuckled but was cut off by Hoseok grabbing his injured hand.  
Yoongi was still amazed by Hoseok,the way his nose curved was so nice,and his round cheeks were so nice,and his hair that looked like a mushroom was just as nice,and Yoongi really thought Hoseok as a whole was just nice,just great,just...perfect.  
He was woken up from his eyes wide open dreaming session when he felt Hoseok's hand on his chest, he flinched and he could feel a swarm of...of termites eating at his guts and swarming around,piercing his tissues and tickling his insides.  
-Ooo,Hyung,are you being shy right now?Hoseok laughed loudly,looking at Yoongi with a playful expression.  
Yoongi would've laughed,but something caught his eye ,standing in the darkest corner of the room,where the dull light of the lamp could barely reach,there was a figure,dressed just like Hoseok,but every other part of his body was pitch black .  
-Hoseok?Am I still here?Am I out again?!Yoongi asked hurriedly with quick suffocated breaths,he kept staring at the figure even though he wanted to stop looking.  
-What are you saying?You're fine,hyung.Hoseok said and placed a hand on Yoongi's thigh.  
-Can you see it too?  
Hoseok took a skeptical glance at Yoongi,he followed his gaze slowly towards the dark corner of the room and his blood froze in his veins when he saw the silhouette.He recognized the clothes as his own but he didn't see himself in that thing.The figure moved and Hoseok fell to the ground next to the couch.What the heck was that?!  
A deep ,almost too deep,voice resonated in the whole house ,the only word it said was "die!".  
Hoseok was freaked out ,but Yoongi just stood there,he seemed scared but not as scared.He felt so bad for Yoongi,he had to go through this daily,alone...all alone.Hoseok stood up quickly and grabbed his hand,but right when he got up the figure was gone.Just gone...  
Yoongi was standing there looking at the floor again,their hands clasped together,hearts beating out of their chests.  
-What the heck was that?Hoseok asked,his voice a strangled whisper.Why did he tell you to die?What is going on?he flopped down on the couch and dragged Yoongi clumsily down as well.Hands still laced together.  
All of this was related,it's always Hoseok dying,always him.Yoongi didn't know why but he knew that those voices were directed towards Hoseok.He couldn't understand at all.If it was connected to his feelings,then...why?He loved Hoseok so why would they want him dead?Why would they make Hoseok the bad guy?He isn't,but it seems that park of him is blaming Hoseok and that part has gotten stronger,it's out if its cage and it's lurking in the shadows.


	10. Put on your best,boys.

He really needed a vacation, so he took one,a well deserved rest,he had to put his thoughts in place and he hoped that two weeks was enough for that.  
It's been two weeks since the incident with Hoseok,the nightmares or whatever they were,he couldn't put a name on them,were the same.He came to the conclusion that time won't heal this,but what will?It's clear that all of that wasn't something messing with his head,as much as he hated admitting it that was some supernatural stuff going on.  
If his theory was right and all of those things were related to his feelings, then all he had to do was get his shit right...but how?Feelings are the most difficult thing there is,there's no easy way to them.  
It was 5:11 am ,he hated going to sleep.When he slept it was guaranteed that they would show up,at least awake he had some time to cool his head.  
The stars were still shining brightly on the dark sky;he sat there,head pressed against the curtains,a can of freezing coke in his hand,his feet were cold as ice.Autumn was close.Even if he wanted to he couldn't help but go back to thinking about Hoseok.The way they held hands that night,the worry in Hoseok's voice.He knew he was getting happy all by himself ,wagging his tail at the slightest touch,and he felt disgusting for betraying Hoseok's innocent and genuine feelings of friendship,but he couldn't control his feelings,nobody could and it was such a horrible thing to go through.  
His eyes were searching the sky for something,maybe some inspiration,not for music,not for lyrics but for fixing this,fixing himself.  
He sighed as he bumped his head on the slippery glass,airplanes could be seen as small neon dots on the endless mass of blues and blacks that is the sky.  
He remembered when he flew through space,curled up in a ball like a lonely whale in an endless devoid ocean.Was that real or was it a dream, truthfully?Maybe another dimension,maybe a dream,maybe all of this is just a dream all over again,he really hoped.Though,even if this was a dream, he felt miserable and lonely,alongside his failed love walked his failed dream,after a lot of search he has come to  wish to become a rapper,a songwriter,something that would make a difference in somebody's thinking,somebody's life...but all he ended up being was the sound/lights guy.  
After all,he didn't know which he hated more...sleeping or being wide awake with himself,words you say to yourself often hurt more, it seems.  
He lifted his head from the window and took one last sip from his drink as he walked half-heartedly towards his bed,before curling into a ball under the light sheets and fearfully letting sleep take over.  
The buzzing sound of the microwave filled the room ,and as Yoongi waited for those long 40 seconds to pass the phone screen lit up,a text from Seokjin.  
Seemed like Jungkook's birthday was coming soon and they were throwing a party.With Yoongi's current situation the last thing he could wish for was a party ,but maybe it would help him get some fresh air.He replied a quick"ok.I'll be there."and it was agreed that Seokjin will give him the details when everything's planned well.  
He got dressed with the first clothes he saw and quickly put on his shoes,then closed the door with a loud  "clank!",  locking it and rushing towards his destination,he really didn't want to pass out on the street again so he walked as fast as he could,hands in his pockets,eyes searching around for any sign that he could be out again.  
He reached Seokjin's place and rang the bell impatiently.Jungkook opened the door with an offended expression on his face and Yoongi moved forward trying to walk inside only to be stopped by Jin.  
You're not even gonna say "happy birthday"?That's just rude,Yoongi.  
-Right,sorry,I've been...messed up, lately,his gaze turned towards the room and he saw Hoseok and his girlfriend chatting comfortably,happy  birthday,Jungkook...he pulled a forced smile and shoved the gift bag in the younger's arms.  
He walked in and started taking off his shoes,his attention kept being taken by the sight of Hoseok and his girlfriend,what was she doing here anyway?  
-Is that the reason you've been "messed up,lately"?Seokjin asked,arms crossed,his tall figure leaning against the doorframe as he quickly glanced towards Hoseok and then back at Yoongi.Because I think that's how things are and you know Jin is always right,he chuckled at his own joke but it quickly faded as he waited for Yoongi's response.  
-Why would he be my problem?he moved his shoes neatly near the wall and straightened his back,listen,don't give me that...I just came here to be chill,the 7 of us.Oh man,8!I am so sorry,forgot the princess,dumbass me.Ha...ha...You know my problem very well and I don't know  why you bring it up every time you see me,you're not helping,there's no helping,he added and headed for the couch,taking a seat next to Jimin.  
-Need a drink,hyung?Jimin questioned with a soft smile.  
-I need all the drinks,Jiminnie,he answered as he watched Jimin get up and go into the kitchen.  
-Hi,I didn't think you'd come,Hoseok sat down next to Yoongi as he spoke,after all that weird stuff.  
-Well,I did,Yoongi answered ,sinking even more into the soft couch.  
-How are things?You seem low...  
-I am,I always am.  
-Right...Hoseok chuckled awkwardly,rubbing the back of his neck.  
All night seeing those two together made Yoongi just mad,he knew he had no right,he knew he was horrible ,he did,but seeing them just made him mad.Mad at himself more than anything.He chugged down drink after drink until he was numb,he was staring at the ceiling,everyone seemed to be having a good time,they were all laughing and he was happy for them but he wanted that too.He wanted to be happy.He wanted to be happy,why couldn't he?  
He stormed out of the place ,leaving his friends with questioning expressions.The feeling if crying seemed so distant,he cried in his dream,but crying in real life,if it was real,felt nostalgic.It felt like the old days,when he was young.When he was young and thought crying made him weak, as he grew old he felt that hiding behind disinterested faces and bored answers was way more cowardly.He grew to become the weak person he dreaded becoming so much.Either way,crying still felt weak,he still felt weak because that's how he was.He sat down at the top of the stairway and leaned his head onto the cold ,dusty wall as his face was flooded by salty tears.He heard footsteps and didn't bother to look up,maybe he was dreaming again.Someone sat down next to him and he recognized the coconut fragrance that always embraced Hoseok's presence.  
-Can't you just like leave ?I'm kinda having a moment with breaking down the walls around my heart here.he chuckled as he punched the wall slightly but the chuckle turned to sobs and hiccups.You're like making it worse.  
-Am I?Hoseok asked in a soft tone as he placed an arm around Yoongi's shoulders.  
-No,he answered through the mess of sobs and drunk hiccups,as Hoseok patted his back with a steady rhythm.


	11. After this moment...

He looked around and everything was dark,cold and damp.He wasn't there,he could feel the wet floor under his feet,he could feel the freezing breeze brushing against his skin but he was not there.He could feel himself lifting his arms before his eyes,but he couldn't see them.He could feel himself looking down at his feet ,but he couldn't see them either.

He started moving around in the endless void of the room.A dull light was following his every move,he could feel grass under his feet and with his shapeless form he reached down and touched it with his hands.He felt as if he closed his eyes even though he couldn't tell whether he did close them or not.He felt as if he entered a second dark,void space,but this one started lighting up,the darkness turned into bright ,summer sunrays.He looked around and he was standing on the edge of a cliff covered in green.He stood there,shapeless,and stared at the bright ,blue sky filled with immaculate ,white clouds.

A second silhouette walked slowly at his left,he saw Hoseok sit down,feet dangling off the edge.He tried to speak ,as the man looked down into the pit,but he couldn't.

He looked around and as if it was never there,the bright place turned into the dark,void place.He saw Hoseok marching towards the darkest part of the room,he called his name and started walking fast towards him.The other looked back frightened and started running,Yoongi followed and as he did,Hoseok only ran faster and more desperately.

Yoongi stopped,he could feel the same grass under his feet,but it was dry and damp.Hoseok stopped running and looked back at him with doe eyes,but Yoongi realized the other man wasn't looking at him,he had no form,he was looking behind him.

Yoongi slowly turned his head and stared into something's eyes.The creature had a body covered in mouths equipped with razor sharp teeth.The monster was around 3 meters tall,around its waist hung a ripped belt and to the belt,what seemed like human hearts,were attached.Yoongi stared in awe at the creature before him;in the darkness of the room 8 moons started rotating above,all in different phases.They were spinning fast ,creating all sorts of shadows that seemed to be dancing around.

Yoongi started running and so did Hoseok, he looked but he saw the beast following and looking back as well.He stopped and so did the other two.He lifted his hand and the beast also lifted its hand.He stepped back ,and so did the monster.

The whole room started spinning and as he felt himself falling through the floor,he could see the beast in front of him doing the same thing,and as he was falling the buzzing sound of a tv kept playing in his mind.

He opened his eyes breathing heavily,the realization suddenly hit him,he was the creature.

He realized he has been sleeping on Jungkook's couch,with the tv on.As he took a better look around he faced a worried Hoseok.He looked dazed and sleepy but also shaken,he was curled up at Yoongi's feet at the end of the couch,covered with the corner of a blanket.

-Where are the others?Yoongi asked as he brought his knees to his chest.

-They left,they still have to work you know...Hoseok answered with a sheepish smile as he straightened the blanket against his legs.

-Jungkook?

-He went somewhere with Jimin.Hoseok answered shortly.

-They went somewhere at this early hour?Yoongi questioned with a confused look.

-What do you mean early?Hoseok chuckled ,bringing his hand to his mouth,it's almost 6 in the afternoon.

-What?I slept for so long?Yoongi asked in confusion ,bringing his phone to his face only to have Hoseok's words confirmed.Why didn't you guys wake me up?

-Well,I told them not to .I didn't know what would happen if I did,I assumed you were having one of those trips of yours.

Yoongi nodded and got up,but he realized that he had no form again.He saw the switch in Hoseok's expressions.He looked at his own motionless body and noticed his eyes turning bloodshot.

The body got up and headed for the kitchen,Hoseok got up startled and stood there confused.He watched as Yoongi's body returned with a knife ,he walked steadily towards Hoseok with a deadly gaze.

Yoongi looked at his hands and feet and he couldn't see them,what could he do?It was clear what that knife was for.

He grabbed onto his possessed body and tried pulling him back.When he managed to drag him one centimeter he could feel himself being spun around and he realized he was only half of himself.

He struggled to stop himself but the other one was still moving ahead,slowly but harshly.

-Hoseok!Run,do something!I can't control myself,I'll kill you!Yoongi managed to shout as he was still struggling with himself.He could feel cold sweat running down the back of his neck,his arms were shaking and aching.He realized once again that the heaviest weight in his life was himself.

-Why are you doing this?!

-I don't know!I just am!Just run or something!Yoongi yelled as he dropped to his knees ,convulsing terribly as he tried to throw the knife out of his own hands.

Hoseok stared in awe ,he was shaking like a leaf and in the confusion he ran towards Yoongi and grabbed his shoulders ,trying to comfort him.

-Don't touch me!Yoongi yelled and managed to jump back ,falling to the floor and beginning to roll on the ground in pain.The struggle of keeping his body was terrifying and painful,it felt as if his whole flesh was being ripped off of his body.

Hoseok stared in shock,teary eyes and shaky breaths.He didn't know what to do and it hurt him to see Yoongi cower in pain because of him.

-Why is it doing this?!What is the reason,Yoongi?Hoseok asked loudly.

-I don't know why it hates you!Why I hate you because I- shit!the pain became more excruciating and he felt himself losing his grip on his own body again.

Hoseok gasped,"Come on,find a reason!Let me fix it!",he spoke.

-I don't know!Yoongi yelled again.

-Think!Think of something!Hoseok rushed him.

-I don't know!

-Think!How can you n-

-I love you!It makes no sense!Why do I hate you if I love you?!

Hoseok fell speechless with big eyes filled with surprise.

Yoongi stopped squirming as he felt himself being released of the pain and gaining control back.

His whole heart got lifted and he felt as if he was staring at the sun starting to shine shyly after a long rainstorm.He felt hope,he felt relief,he felt honesty,grief and sadness all at once.He felt as if a part of him has died and as if his senses were numbed ,yet somehow it gave him peace.And...somehow,it also made him mad,it made him feel dead inside and these contradictory feelings were tearing him apart from the first minutes.

Hoseok stared at him with teary eyes before lunging towards him and tying his arms behind Yoongi's neck in a tight embrace.Hoseok tightened his arms around Yoongi as they both started sobbing and kissed Yoongi's hair countless times as they were both crying.

Yoongi felt confused and he didn't know if it was all over,he didn't know what would come later,but he wanted to be contempt with that instant.


	12. Move on

-I'm sorry...Hoseok finally spoke ,the buzzing of the tv was being blurred out,I really am.

 

-What for?Yoongi asked,looking at their hands laced together on the floor.

 

-For not looking your way,for not understanding.You went through all that because of me.Hoseok spoke again,not daring to look the other in the eye.

 

-What are you saying?It's all my own problem,nobody is obliged to return anybody's feelings.It's not something you can feel sorry about.

 

-But I did return them!I just overlooked yours and assumed you didn't feel the same,Hoseok said, pressing his forehead against his curled up knees.

 

-Didn't I do the same thing?Yoongi let out a dry chuckle,swinging his head softly in an attempt to move his hair out of his eyes.

 

Hoseok sighed and nodded as he began drawing circles on Yoongi's thumb.

 

It started raining,the heavy water drops were hitting strongly against the dirty windows hidden behind old ,dusty curtains.They both looked towards the window,listening to the beat of the rain and the buzzing sound of the tv.

 

Yoongi remembered his questions ,did he leave an impact,was he like a rain shower?He still couldn't answer,but today was different,he wasn't lonely,he had hope,he wanted to enjoy that instant,so he did.

 

They sat in silence,shoulders pressed against each other's,the rain was strong as autumn was running towards them quicker and quicker.

 

The front door opened with a loud noise ,waking them up from those fairytale like daydreams.Yoongi swung his hand out of Hoseok's violently and started playing with his sleeves,head hung low,as the other stared with a disappointed look before getting up lazily and heading for the hallway.

 

Jimin and Jungkook were taking off their dirty shoes with sluggish moves.Jimin looked up and got startled as he saw the lethargic state Hoseok was in as he stared at them while leaning against the doorframe.

 

-What happened to you?Jimin asked with doe eyes as he sat his shoes down and started walking carefully towards Hoseok.

 

-Nothing!What's up with you guys?Hoseok asked with a bright smile on his face,swinging an arm around Jimin's shoulders.

 

Jimin looked at him in confusion but smiled as he started telling them about their day.

 

*time skip*

 

-How could I tell her?How?Am I just gonna be like "hello,hi,let's break up,I'm kinda queer haha"?!Hoseok asked as he paced frantically around the room,biting his lips and rubbing his chin in hope of finding a better way.

 

Yoongi stared at his feet as he sat on the couch in the dimly lit room,it was 2 in the morning and they've been stuck on this subject for 4 hours.He couldn't help but feel guilty and like it was all too difficult.He brought his hands to his face and sunk his thumbs against his temples.

 

-Just come with me,will you?Hoseok whined as he flopped down onto the couch next to Yoongi and grabbing his thigh.

 

Yoongi flinched in embarrassment,he looked at Hoseok startled and subtly moved his leg.

 

-Wouldn't that be kind of a shit move,Hoseok?he said with an empathetic look as he moved his leg more.

 

-You're righ-Why are you like this?Hoseok asked with an offended tone but burst out in laughter.We're dating,aren't we?

 

-We're basically...not.Nobody knows and you're kiiiiinda cheating on your girlfriend...Yoongi answered and turned his head to look at his hands as he was playing with a ring he had on.

 

Hoseok fell silent, quickly withdrawing his hand and placing it on the couch.

 

*time skip*

 

-You're breaking up with me?But I thought we were doing great,Hoseok!Hoseok!You're tricking me aren't you?the woman questioned,eyes glistening with tears ,hands shaking violently against the strap of her black,leather bag.

 

-I'm sorry,Hoseok said ,staring at the ground,I'm sorry.I thought I loved you...I did.I just loved him more.I'm sorry.I know you can't forgive me,he said with a shaky voice,but, at least,please forget me.Forget me quickly,he said and he ran his hand through his hair as he hurried out of the house.

 

The long haired girl fell down on the chair ,sobbing heavily ,hot tears streaming down her face.As she cried for hours ,on the other side of the city Hoseok and Yoongi finally shared their first kiss without guilt, remorse or alcohol clouds shading their minds,an innocent kiss filled with hope and expectations towards the next happy instants that would come.

 

No good comes without bad is something we all come to realize at some point.Sometimes you need to hurt others so you can go on,other times you will need to be hurt for others to be happy.I guess that's life,but after all we need to do is get over the grief and rage and just... move on.

 


End file.
